Summer Parenting

Yes, I am still at home with my kids. When they are in school I have time for other pursuits, and now that they are getting older, I sometimes even have time when they are here.

This morning though, I was questioning my decision to be a "stay-at-home mom". It is mid-summer and I have been with kids every day, all day since summer started. (With the exception of a Mom's getaway weekend at the cabin.) The summer has been great, but I am starting to feel the wear, the need for adult conversation and some intellectual stimulation. Though I love catching tree frogs, I really am not the Martha Stewart type.

I try to care about paint colors, light fixtures, and the such, but in truth...I don't. I have gotten to be a pretty good cook, and though I enjoy the finished product, except for the rare recipe, I find the process rather tedious. Landscaping? Gardening? Forget it. I try to do my best and find joy in it sometimes...especially in the fall if anything I have planted is harvestable (I know, its not a word)...but really, it loses my interest quite quickly. If I had the money I would hire a gardener. Laundry and fashion? BORING with a capital B. And yes, I am a heterosexual woman.

No, I would rather read the Wall Street Journal, trade stocks, read a good book on Finance, Economics, Religion or Philosophy, or engage in a debate about some arcane economic theory.

This morning I found myself wondering why taking care of all the "details" of life is such a soul sucker. Why does being a "stay at home mom" mean hours of domestic drudgery? Sometimes, there is so much to do on the physical level (house keeping, maintenance, etc.) that I feel I am missing out on just "being" with the kids.

Back to this morning: I arose around 6:30am or so, early for summer because I couldn't sleep. Then I checked the stock market, made two separate breakfasts, fed the pets, cleaned the cat boxes, fed the ducks and birds (not necessary, but I enjoy it), started the laundry, made coffee, made a few necessary phone calls, decided what to do for the weekend, made a shopping list, balanced the checkbook, vacuumed, picked up dog doo, etc. etc...you get the point. Anyway, then the neighbor's annoying kid came over uninvited. (I actually like her - but every day?) She stepped in the dog doo doo (not the stuff I picked up, but a brand new pile), ran in my newly vacuumed house and tracked it all over the deck. Simultaneously the dog - who is 15 - had stepped in it too. She also tracked it all over the house, but I wasn't nearly as irritated with her - BECAUSE SHE IS GOING BLIND!!!!!!

So, I tried not to lose it. I tried not to think of all the money I could have made if I had put my career, not my kids, first. Let's see 11 yrs at an average of $100,000 a year - CRAP - $1.1 million! I avoided tears and yelling, but barely.

That is when my 11 year old daughter started cleaning the kitchen, vacuuming the basement, and then came up and gave me a big hug. "It's OK mom", she said. Then I think she said something about what a great Mom I was and how much she loved me and was glad I was home with her.

HOLY SH__!! I love that girl. I would love her even if she never did anything nice. She is just a good egg. But, in that moment, not only did I feel great love for her and from her, but I was proud of her - and myself.

Later this afternoon, in the midst of laundry, my 7 year old son said, "I have a great idea!" "Let's drill holes in this coco0nut and drink the milk out with a straw!" At first I hesitated, feeling I should get more work done, but then I said, "Cool, let's do it!" And we did. I drilled two holes because I thought the first wasn't big enough. He ran to the kitchen to get a straw and came back with two; he got one for me, too! So we drank coconut milk together and he said, with a beautiful grin and a sparkle in his eye, "Can you believe we are drinking from a seed?"

The universe has a benevolent side, and sometimes you see it right when you need it most.

I didn't stay home to be a Homemaker. I stayed home to have moments like that with my kids. I know people that work outside the home have moments like that too, but I am extremely thankful for mine, today.