"Elliptical Delusion"

Kids are the best.

We have had a long month at our house. Two cases of H1N1, Strep, an attempted break-in, etc.

My son, after recovering quickly from H1N1 (Thanks Tami flu!) and being back at school healthy for a week, now has another low grade fever. (99.5) He is a bit congested and very tired. My daughter - after three weeks and a few days out of school (first Flu, then strep, then an allergic reaction to anti-biotics, and then a sinus infection) is finally healthy and back at school.

Perhaps I am losing it at this point, but in the midst of all this, my son was messing around on an ipod touch and says, "Look mom, I made an elliptical delusion." I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. "Honey, its an optical illusion," I said. "I don't care," he said, "To me it's an elliptical delusion!"

Kids are so wonderful. So we looked at some new elliptical delusions together.

Fear

Sometimes inspiration is hard to come by. This past few weeks have been that way for me.

Both of my kids were sick, one more so than the other. Mercifully, they are both doing fine.

If your kids having H1N1 doesn't scare the crap out of you, well then maybe having someone try to kick down the door into your house from the garage at 6:24am in the morning will.

Oh, all is well, the alarm system went off and scared them away. The police were here in minutes, and everyone is safe.

But I tell you what, if you haven't had that kind of experience you don't want to. It brings you face to face with FEAR.

On my journey toward inner peace, I have visited a state where fear is absent. Several times. Sometimes for long periods of time. The last few weeks have been a reminder that I have not defeated my demons for good. There is still much fear in me. So I have been asking myself after several sleepless nights, what is it exactly that I am afraid of? The answer seems to be so scary to talk about, perhaps even read about, be cause it is the ultimate fear for us all...Death.

The truth is that every single fear we have is rooted in one fear - fear of death. Go even deeper and you will realize it is a fear of life. How? We are afraid that what we view as our most precious gift, life, will be taken from us if we live it fully. Being unaware of this, many of us do not live life to its fullest.

Our ego falsely believes that fear of death will save us from it. It won't. We are all going to die someday. We don't know how, or when. Just if.

So what is the solution to this human conundrum? Mine is this:

Look Fear in the face and keep walking. Try to love as much as possible. Know fear is there, but don't let it control you. Believe me, if you don't know it's there, it will control you.

Know the difference between what you can control and what you can't. Control is sometimes beneficial on the physical level. (Alarm system, motion lights & perhaps a move to a better neighborhood, maybe even become a pistol packin' momma!)

At the same time realize who is really in charge. It is not us. Whatever, or whomever it is apparently thinks this Odyssey called human life is necessary.

My life is really pretty easy, abundant, and wonderful compared to that of most. I have won the lottery of life by just being born in the good old USA.

But regardless of class, race, or sex, we all have to face the same FEAR. Perhaps doing it early on on life makes us able to enjoy the rest more fully.